Assalamualaikum...
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful...
Yesterday was awwal Muharram...the day for Muslims to set new steps in the new Muslim year. Alhamdulillah...I'm still alive to celebrate the new year in Islamic calendar.
There were many programs on television yesterday about awwal Muharram. I really enjoyed spending time with my family and together we wished to become a better person in the future.
Wish is always a wish...Sometimes I become clueless on how to rationalize wishes. I usually end up making no wish at all. I realize there are many bad attitudes that I need to, well...you know... I'm so worry the way I express my emotion. Becoming an out-loud person is not my choice. I always want to be in the middle...but usually I lose control, in no matter what emotion I need to handle, but the worse is when I get angry.
I pray to Allah SWT. I need help. I really need help. I'm drowning in my own emotions....I don't want to hurt people around me...no more...
Allah, then, answer my call.... I went to my supervisor's room. He has lots of books pertaining to akhlaq (behavior). I don't know why suddenly my hand grasps a book on the shelve. It's a book written by Imam al-Ghazali (translated by Said Ahmad Samit). I immediately browse through the book...and I glance over a paragraph where Allah SWT has directed my heart to pay full attention on it....
"Anger is
a piece of fire came from God's flaming fire, the heat rises to the base of the
heart, and the fire was enshrined deep in the heart until it becomes embers,
then covered by ashes. Then supercilious nature becomes apparent which is hidden
in the hearts of every conceited and arrogant person like the spark from rock when
is rubbed with steel."
Allah SWT mentioned in the Quran:
While the Unbelievers got up in their hearts heat and cant - the heat
and cant of Ignorance - Allah sent down His Tranquillity to His
Messenger and to the Believers, and made them stick close to the command
of self-restraint; and well were they entitled to it and worthy of it.
And Allah has full knowledge of all things.
(Al-Fath:26)
My mind start thinking. How could I let the fire from the hell to reside in my heart?! For all this while, I've been preserving the source of Iblis in my body?! How am I going to take this feeling of?! Am I arrogant? What about my prayer? Are they accepted by Allah SWT?
I continue reading the book...the author mentioned about the states of anger and the effects on personality. Then, I come across the answer to my question...
"As long
as man inclines to like something and hate something, then he does not escape
from becoming irritated and angry, because these two properties are part of
natural human behavior. However, the training themselves should be well taken
care of to get rid the violence of angry, in the journey to fight and force
yourself with forbearing nature and absorbing a little while until all
properties become a habit and the
behavior remain within.
That
exercise alone is unable to completely eliminate anger from their hearts because
it is not possible. But the aim is to lead the limitations as recommended by
the syariah and to look good in mind. The method is to break the inflammation
and weaken it, so it does not rage burning inside. The action is continued
until the effects are no longer seen on the face."
If this is what Allah want me to do, I'll spend my effort to the utmost, to practice and always practice forbearing attitudes such as tolerant and moderate, and there will be no chance for the flame of hell to reside in my heart...ever! unless it is to protect my religion, nation and people I love.
I really hope this wish is not only a wish....amin....Happy Awwal Muharram everyone...
